Autism awareness

Signs I Noticed In My Son Before He Was Diagnosed With Autism!

Hello readers, my son Jayden has (ASC) Autism Spectrum Condition, he is 3 years old and was diagnosed in early January 2019. I was pretty sure I already knew there was a possibility he was on the spectrum from before he turned 1. To myself the signs were very obvious but that should be the case from a mothers perspective. I have 4 children and I can honestly say I know all of them very well as I have a deep interest in my children’s lives, we have very close relationship and strong bond. I want to share what I picked up on from real experience of raising an autistic child as what I read online didn’t cover all my sons traits. I have written a list of some of his ways, hopefully this information may be useful to some.

Jayden impatiently waiting for our plane to arrive.

A SEMI DETAILED LIST !

NOT ANSWERING TO HIS NAME- Jayden hardly answered to his name when called from before the age of 1 and still does this at present. Usually you would call Jayden up to 10 times before he responded if he did.
LACK OF USING EYE CONTACT- Jayden seems to prefer to not use eye contact, he can communicate with people but will not look directly at whoever he is communicating with, he has started using eye contact of lately but it’s usually for a split second if he does.
LACK OF FEAR/DANGER & HEIGHTS- Jayden does not seem to be cautious of dangerous surroundings or objects, he also does not fear heights. He has a love for climbing and jumping off things from a height, when instructed to stop he usually finds it humorous and does not listen regardless of what tone of voice is used.
LACK OF UNDERSTANDING GESTURES- Jayden does not understand gestures, this makes life tricky as when he’s struggling or is offered help he doesn’t accept it in a positive way, he tends to either have a semi meltdown or gets aggressive and very frustrated. It’s not easy seeing him needing help and knowing I can but he won’t allow the help.
LACK OF FACIAL EXPRESSIONS- Jayden is generally a happy boy if life goes his way, but his facial expressions don’t always tell you the mood he’s in. Jayden can be happy but his face says different, he usually has this little angry face/serious look which I find quite funny as he looks like he’s lived a hard life.
LACK OF AWARENESS AND SURROUNDINGS- Jayden can be super scary when outside, he needs full on supervision and hands to be held at all times unless he’s strapped in a buggy. He doesn’t seems to acknowledge the world around him and will go in the road or try to open peoples cars, he walks into things and tends to trip up a lot due to not concentrating.
INDEPENDENT/SELF DIRECTED- Jayden’s one of those special children that seem to know his purpose of life, he knows what he wants, how he wants it and when he wants it, if it doesn’t go the way he intended then WW3 kicks off. He doesn’t like a suggestion being offered to him and he does not like anyone to do something their way which is unfair and controlling but that is Jayden. Jayden didn’t take to a dummy when he was a baby, I was persistent and kept trying different brands as he did cry A LOT, he never took to one until he was 7 months (philips avent), this only lasted 3 months, he had decided by 10 months he no longer needs the dummy and started to bite them, I wasted so much money replacing them until I gave up and accepted it, he also started walking by 10 months so i’m wondering if that’s to blame.
GAGS/REFUSES CERTAIN FOODS/TEXTURES- Jayden is definitely a fussy eater/food critic, I have noticed he has a preference for crunchy/crispy/firm textures and non sticky. He’s a rare child as he refuses to eat sweets, he does this as he does not enjoy the feeling of stickiness, he intends to enjoy the finer side to life when it comes to food and eats with his eyes, I do recall myself making Jayden egg benedict for his lunch at the age of 1. If a texture that he did not like went into his mouth he used to spit the food out or wipe it vigorously across his sleeve or gag and sometimes force himself to throw up, after that happens he refuses to try anything.
WEIRD APPETITE/EATING HABITS- Jayden’s eating habits and food preferences are most definitely weird and unhealthy, he loves cake so much that it does cause meltdowns. Ketchup is another one of his favorites, I don’t mean as a condiment, he likes to eat ketchup on its own, usually he will use the food to dip in and eat the ketchup off the food without eating the food or scrape the ketchup with his finger or cutlery. Ice poles and ice lollies are a must in the household, he requests them constantly throughout the day as-if he needs them to survive, meltdowns also follow when told no to them and the weather conditions does not phase him, Jayden will eat a ice lolly even if was snowing or raining. I always introduce new or different foods into Jayden’s diet but most of them get turned down by him, if Jayden says no once there really is no point asking him again or trying persuasion as that frustrates him and can bring out his negative side. He’s still going through a phase of only wanting to eat rice, rice pudding, cous-cous, cakes, ice poles and crackers. On occasions Jayden will eat chips, pizza, vegetables, noodles, vegan sausages and corn on the cob.
OBSESSION FOR PARTICULAR TOYS/ITEMS- Jayden has an obsession for automobiles and wheeled toys/items, he went through a phase of spinning the wheels on pushchairs at home or when out. When he was younger than 1 he had a love for footballs only but that has now been overridden by his love for cars. At most times he has a car or cars nearby or to-hand, whilst he would eat, bathe and sleep. No-one is allowed to remove the car from his hand even when undressing, I learned to swap the car from one hand to the other if needed but the car stays with Jayden.
TERRIBLE MELTDOWNS- Jayden had horrible tantrums from before he was 1, I assumed I was dealing with the terrible 2’s stage early and let it bypass until he passed the age of 2 and the tantrums had turned into meltdowns. When Jayden is having a meltdown its like his world has either ended or is about to end, it’s very drastic and overrated, now that he’s 3 he understands a lot more so the meltdowns have worsened and tend to turn into a violent rage at worst, he understands what he is doing when in that frame of mind but does not care or understand why he’s actually doing it or what he will benefit from continuing. Jayden spites himself regularly when having a meltdown, he acts as-if he is wreck it Ralph and destroys his or someones belongings. There have been so many items broken by Jayden due to his meltdowns, it’s not impossible to get him out of that mood but it is a challenge, tickles and distraction helps sometimes, I may have to re-think my options for the years to come.
IMPULSIVE/CONTROLLING- Jayden is very a controlling being, he came on to the planet 3 years ago expecting the world surrounding him to do things his way and adapt to his difficult/challenging behaviors, he wakes up each morning knowing what he wants or how he wants his day to go, his ways does make everyday a challenge as i’m mum but he wants to be in charge. There are times when we are out and Jayden will try to direct which way I go, I do sometimes compromise with him but I tend to show him that mummy makes the rules.
THRIVES ROUTINE BUT ADAPTS TO SELF DIRECTED CHANGES- Jayden is a hard person to explain unless you go into detail, he likes the same things, foods, toys, places of interest and TV shows. He refuses to wear certain clothes and will not accept any new clothing, coats, shoes or even bedding, unless he has indicated for change himself.
HATES BRUSHING HAIR/TEETH- Jayden wants to be a get up and go person, not meaning he’s a morning person but on the verge of not wanting/liking the feel of his hair being touched/brushed, he also cannot stand brushing his teeth, he freaks out if either of the two is attempted, now that he can say more word he says “I cant” when asked to. Jayden has sensory issues and this is related to that.
ESCAPE ARTIST/RUNNING OFF- Jayden has a huge amount of energy, he’s very active and always fidgeting or bouncing up and down if he’s not running wild, he used to always try to attempt to unlock the front door, look for exits in parks or boldly run off. There was one occasion when I had taken Jayden to the park, he did not want to stay in the park which was normal for him, upon leaving the park he looked up at the sky and said to look, I had looked up for a second, Jayden had laughed and ran off, from that moment I realized he is very intelligent and crafty, his mind is one of a kind and does intrigue me.

I’ve added a couple of videos of Jayden so you can visualize what he is like, I hope you enjoy and thanks again for your time.

Full-time Nursery Changed My Autistic Toddler’s Terrible Sleeping Patterns!

Hello all, I appreciate you taking time to read. Some of you may remember me from my other blog, for those that don’t I will introduce myself, I’m Jay, mother of 4, 1 whom has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC). My son Jayden has autism and can be rather challenging at most times to most people but I’ve always labelled autistic people and my son as misunderstood. I state this because I and many others seem to understand how to deal with someone on the spectrum a lot better than most. A lot of the understanding falls down to patience, calmness and love.

Like I stated earlier, my son can be challenging on most days, mornings are a problem for Jayden. There is an obvious reason for Jayden’s hate of mornings, He doesn’t SLEEP! Well he does sleep but doesn’t get his body’s recommended amount, during the daytime he has a countless amount of energy and a unwilling nature to want to go to sleep. Jayden literally fights his sleep like he’s at war and he’s a pro at it.

Of lately I’ve been putting Jayden to bed roughly the same time every night, including weekends as it helps to regulate his body’s clock. Before I started to do this life was crazy when it came to bedtime. An example of bedtime went like this; 7:30pm- bath-time, 8pm- hot chocolate and movie in bed, 9pm- Jayden requesting another hot chocolate, 10pm- Jayden requesting another movie and another hot chocolate, 11pm- Jayden requesting another hot chocolate, midnight- Jayden requesting another movie, 01:47am- Jayden usually drifted off. Sometimes that pattern would go on until 3am and I wasn’t happy about that at all!

Jayden’s pattern was so messed up that he would miss nursery on most days as he was too tired to even wake up, he was getting up around 1pm in the afternoon. By that time nursery was finished, Jayden wasn’t the type you can wake up and explain that this is why you have to go to bed, it was more of if you wake him when he was tired he would cry and cry, which would escalate or turn into one of his horrible meltdowns were he would destroy the home or take it out on his little sister.

Usually that type of behavior and demands would not be tolerated from a child but with Jayden I’ve had to learn a different approach on how to deal with things. With Jayden being autistic his speech was delayed so he can’t communicate very well and has a lack of reading facial expressions. He also would have plenty of terrible meltdowns which would last for hours on a bad day, the meltdowns can get so out of hand that the siblings would be woken which wasn’t fair on them. Shouting or bribes was not an option when it came to Jayden.

Jayden is now at full time nursery which starts at 9am and finishes at 3:30pm, when he started I thought this just what he needs to enable him to want to sleep earlier as I was sure he’d be worn out after a full day at school. For the first 2 weeks I was baffled to why Jayden still didn’t want to sleep after a long day of school, but by then his body had given in and the battles were beginning to come to an end. His new bedtime routine worked great, It went a bit like this; 6pm- bath-time, 7pm- cartoons, 8pm- hot chocolate and by 9pm Jayden would have fallen asleep.

Jayden in bed with his new routine. (8pm)

Now that Jayden seems to have accepted this as his new routine I have been keen on keeping to it as it works well for me and the family. I tend to use visuals as a helping aid to help Jayden to communicate which I find brilliant.

Before Jayden attended full-time nursery he did attend part-time, he did show signs that half day was not long enough but it was not up to me how long he attended. After a day of half day nursery Jayden was very energetic and hyper, defiant and uncontrollable as nursery seemed to have no structure and consisted of doing what you like until he had been collected at 12pm, life at home was different to life at nursery which explained the defiant behaviors as Jayden is not so good with change.

I plan on sticking to this routine but gradually changing the times to an earlier bedtime if possible. I’m not a specialist on working with Autistic children but I can say that I have a lot of positive experiences in helping them or parents change the negative routines into a better one. If you’re struggling and feel stuck you are most welcome to leaving an email or comment for me to respond to with advice, tips or guidance. Thanks again for reading.

My 3 year old son has finally been diagnosed with Autism!

Hello all, Welcome and Thank you for making the time to read.

Firstly I’d like to introduce myself, my name is Jay, I have 4 beautiful children (3 boys,1 girl). I strongly believe all my children and I are on the spectrum of autism. My 3rd son Jayden, he is 3 and has finally been diagnosed with autism. The whole assessment process did not take nowhere near as long as I assumed it would, I was told it could vary between months to years but the first initial assessment took place in October 2018 and I had him diagnosed in January 2019. The first stage of Jayden’s diagnosis started with him being referred to S.A.L.T (speech & language therapy)http://directory.islington.gov.uk/kb5/islington/directory/service.page?id=bAHkWBsN2os through his nursery teacher at age 2 due to his speech delay. His nursery teacher had noticed that Jayden had a speech delay, his vocabulary varied between 20-30 words, she asked me if she can refer him to S.A.L.T, I agreed and highlighted I had suspected autism from before age 1 but had been observing him, her response threw me off , I felt patronized, her exact words were, “Jayden does not have autism, I teach him and I would know if he had it, children with autism don’t play with children but Jayden does, also you shouldn’t read stuff of the internet as when i’m ill with a cold I would diagnose myself as dying”. I left her to her conclusion and awaited the Speech and Language appointment. During that appointment I highlighted that I had suspected autism, Jayden had shown some autistic traits whilst at the appointment so he was referred to S.C.T Social Communication Team. http://directory.islington.gov.uk/kb5/islington/directory/service.page?id=Sn2_5eWpiqY

Jayden in his element….. cars all day everyday, wherever he goes and whilst he sleeps!

I had received Jayden’s report from his speech and language assessment in early July 2018, I also had an appointment booked in October 2018 for his initial assessment for autism. During the assessment which took place in October 2018 I was asked some questions about my pregnancy and Jayden’s early years, they had also done a play session to rule out some factors. After that appointment I was told about future appointments I would have but wasn’t given the dates. Roughly around mid November 2018 I had a call from the Occupational Therapist to confirm future appointed dates, the first appointment was made for December and the next made for January 2019, one at Jayden’s primary school and the last one at The Northern Medical Center in Holloway (London) https://www.northernmedicalcentre.co.uk/ with the possibility of a diagnosis.

Jayden one evening after school, don’t ask why but he did and does stuff like this!

On December 13th 2018, Myself, the Occupational Therapist and Speech and Language Therapist met for our appointment at the school for (speech therapy). During the appointment I was asked more detailed questions on behalf of Jayden’s background, well-being, behaviors and sensory issues, half way through the appointment both Therapist took turns on assessing Jayden at play while in class while one stayed asking questions. The duration of that session took about 1.5 hours. It was highlighted to me that I should definitely have a diagnosis by the next scheduled appointment.

January 9th 2019 had finally arrived, I anticipated this date as it meant a lot to be able to have Jayden possibly diagnosed. (Not saying it’s the result I wanted but I had already accepted Jayden was autistic and would have appealed any decision that had disagreed with mine.) Anyways I attended with Jayden only and was seen quite prompt, the two Therapist I had met with on the previous appointment was present alongside the psychologist. I was told to sit and observe but not to interact with Jayden but to engage with him briefly if he came over to me. The process started with the Occupational Therapist and the Speech and Language Therapist choosing a bunch of toys to set out for Jayden to be assessed with by play, they kept switching toys during the assessment. The last part of the assessment had involved food, I was asked to bring a few small snacks which Jayden would usually eat and a drink. Jayden showed no interest in the food they when they introduced it to him during the assessment, his interest was fully on the toys he had been playing with during the assessment and kept on getting frustrated. The Psychologist had observed the whole process and took notes, during the end process she asked me a few questions.

I was left in the room for 10 minutes while the Therapist had a private discussion in another room, when they returned they took Jayden to get weighed and measured. When we returned back into he assessment room I had sat with the Psychologist and the Speech and Language Therapist to briefly explain the assessment process was completed and they have a diagnosis, they told me Jayden has got ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition), they explained it used to be known as ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), they stated it is found to be genetic hence the change of disorder to condition, I was given a letter to get post diagnosis help and attend workshops, I was also informed that I should wait 4/6 weeks to receive Jayden’s report from the assessment.

Myself and Jayden in Alicante (Spain) in mid November 2018

I plan on writing many blogs on experiences and tips which has helped myself and others, I’m willing to answer questions or give guidance to anyone in need. I’m currently in the process of setting up some funding and workshops. Thanks again for reading and I’ll be adding and updating the site on a regular basis. Bye for now.